According to (the behavior of) many reps, asking for referrals is one of least comfortable parts of sales. You're asking the customer to help you, and giving them nothing in return (your undying gratitude may not be that valuable to them). But here's the thing: referrals are the holy grail of sales. They close faster, spend more, and actually want to talk to you (yes, it’s true).
The problem? Most salespeople either avoid asking altogether or come off like that old friend from high school who's just discovered an MLM scheme and suddenly wants to "grab coffee to catch up." Today, we'll break down how to ask for referrals without jeopardizing relationships with your happy customers – the golden rule: ask and you (might) receive.
Timing is everything
The perfect time to ask is right after you've delivered value. Just closed a deal that made your client look like a hero to their boss? Helped them crush their Q1 goals? That's your moment.
Don’t hesitate or wait until your pipeline is dry to ask. The exact moment they tell you how happy or grateful they are for how you’ve helped them, that’s your time to strike. They're riding high on their success, and you're the person who made it happen.
Make it about them (because it kind of is)
Don’t make it sound like you’re asking for a favor. Instead, frame your referral request as a way for your client to help their network. Instead of saying, "Know anyone else who needs our software?" try, "I'd love to help other [marketing directors] achieve similar results—do you know anyone who's facing the same challenges you were?"
You're not begging for leads; you're giving your customer an opportunity to make themselves look like an early adopter and smart business person to colleagues in their network—and they can come out looking like a hero.
Plant the seed early
Instead of one big ask, try a systematic approach that weaves referral requests into each step of your sales process.
Lay the groundwork: "As we work together, I'd love to help any colleagues you think might benefit from similar results."
Make it specific: "I notice you're well-connected with other SaaS companies in Boston. Would you be open to introducing me to one or two people who might be interested in our solution?”
Maintain professional courtesy: "No pressure at all, I understand if now isn't the right time—I know everyone's busy.”
Make sure to follow-through
Got a referral? Congratulations! Now don't mess it up. Keep your referral source updated on how things go. Whether you close the deal or not, let them know what happened. It shows respect for their network and makes them more likely to refer you again.
Pro tip: Send a thank-you note or small gift to anyone who refers you. Don’t send company swag. Make it personal—a handwritten note and a gift card to a nice restaurant in their neighborhood will make them feel valued, and increase the chances they keep sending you more referrals (you may not even have to ask next time).
The "Don't Be a Dummy" rules
- Never ambush clients with referral requests during other meetings
- Don't offer commission/kickbacks unless it's explicitly part of your program
- Never pressure or guilt-trip
- Don't name-drop without permission
- Don't send LinkedIn requests to people you found by stalking your client's connections
The bottom line
Asking for referrals is like dating—confidence is attractive, desperation is not. Focus on delivering exceptional value first, and the referral conversations will flow naturally. And remember, the worst they can say is no. Keep it casual, keep it professional, and most importantly, keep it focused on how you can help more people solve real problems.
