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Dear Quota Team

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I recently started a new job as a sales manager. I didn’t have any upward mobility at my last job and when they changed the comp plan, I started interviewing for sales manager jobs and landed one thanks to some managerial experience I had in a past life before jumping into sales.

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The problem is the sales team here has a very bro/jock culture — which is definitely not me. I’ve always been more comfortable around what the guys on my sales team would describe as “nerds.” It seems like they don't really care about the company or any type of career advancement, they just want to make a ton of money and horse around after work. I kind of feel like a substitute teacher trying to wrangle a bunch of 8th graders. They don't respect me. Should I assert some dominance and chew someone out to show them I'm someone they should take seriously? How can I earn their respect?

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Timid in Location withheld 

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Dear Timid,

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You should definitely not be looking for an opportunity to be a jerk to someone who works for you just to "set the tone."

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It sounds like you have an idea stuck in your head about who your sales reps are. You're putting them in a group and making assumptions based on your past life experiences. Have you sat down and had 1:1s with everyone on your team? This is where you should start.

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Have a real conversation with everyone on your team. Show them you care. Try to understand the individual. Ask them about their career goals and their personal goals so you can better understand how you can help them reach those goals. Anyone who believes their boss truly cares about their success is bound to respect that boss. You don't have to be friends with your team, you just need to lead and support them. You need to help them get better and hit their numbers. If they succeed you succeed. Good luck!